The Gospel of Jessica Christ
Playing off the language of the NT (in the KJV), I’ve taken certain passages from the four gospels and put them into gender reversal (just to see what happens). I’ve also inserted a word firecracker here and there to add some additional surprises to these otherwise familiar texts. Turning Jesus into Jessica somehow invigorates the old story for me, and makes it edgy and interesting again.
What say you?
Prologue (Mark 1:1; John 1:1-5)
The beginning of the gospel of Jessica Christ,
the Daughter of God.
In the beginning was the Womb, and the
Womb was with God, and the Womb was God.
The same was in the beginning with God.
All things were made by her; and without her
was not anything made that was made. In her
was life; and the life was the darkness of men.
And the Womb hideth in darkness;
and the light comprehendeth it not.
The Incarnation (John 1:14)
And the Womb was made flesh, and dwelt
among us (and we beheld her glory, the
glory as of the only begotten of the Mother),
full of grace and emptiness.
Joanna the Baptist (John 1:6; Mark 1:4-7)
There was a woman sent from God, whose name
Joanna did baptize in the wilderness, and preach
the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins
against women. And there went unto her all the
land of Judea, and they of Jerusalem, and were all
baptized of her in the river Jordan, confessing
their sins against women.
And Joanna was clothed with camel’s hair, and
with a girdle of a skin about her loins; and she did
eat locusts and wild honey; and preached, saying,
There cometh one mightier than I after me,
the latch of whose shoes I am not worthy
to stoop down and unloose.
Jessica’s Baptism and Temptation in the Wilderness (Mark 1:9-13)
And it came to pass in those days, that Jessica came
from Nazareth of Galilee, and was baptized of
Joanna in Jordan. And straightway coming up out of
the water, she saw the heavens opened, and the
Spirit like an owl descending upon her.
And there came a voice from heaven saying,
Thou are my beloved Daughter, in whom I am well
pleased. And immediately the Spirit driveth her into
the wilderness. And she was there in the wilderness
forty days, tempted of Satan; and was with the wild
beasts; and the angels ministered unto her.
Jessica Begins Her Ministry (Mark 1:14-18)
Now after that Joanna was put in prison,
Jessica came into Galilee, preaching the
gospel of the Womb Realm, and
saying, The time is fulfilled, and the Womb
Realm is at hand: repent ye, and
believe the gospel.
Now as Jessica walked by the sea of
Galilee, she saw Petra and Adriana her
sister casting a net into the sea: for they
And Jessica said unto them, Come ye
after me, and I will make you to become
fishers of women. And straightway they
forsook their nets, and followed her.
Jessica Casts an Unclean Spirit from a Woman (Mark 1:21; 23-28)
And they went into Capernaum; and straightway on
the sabbath day she entered the church, and
And there was in the church a woman with an
unclean spirit; and she cried out, saying, Let us
alone; what have we to do with thee, thou
Jessica of Nazareth? art thou come to destroy us?
I know thee who thou art, the Holy Womb of God.
And Jessica rebuked her, saying, Hold thy peace,
and come out of her. And when the unclean spirit
had torn her, and cried with a loud voice, she came
out of her.
And they were all amazed, insomuch that they
questioned among themselves, saying, What thing is
this? what new doctrine is this? for with authority
commandeth she even the unclean spirits, and they
do obey her. And immediately her fame spread
abroad throughout all the region round about Galilee.
“All Women Seek for Thee” (Mark 1:35-37)
And in the morning, rising up a great while
before day, she went out, and departed into
a solitary place, and there prayed.
And Petra and they that were with her
followed after her. And when they had
found her, they said unto her, All women
seek for thee.
Jessica Heals a Woman (Mark 2:1-7)
And again Jessica entered into Capernaum after
some days, and it was noised that she was in the
house. And straightway many were gathered
together, insomuch that there was not room
to receive them, no not so much as about the
door: and she preached the Womb unto them.
And they came to Jessica, bringing one sick of
the palsy, which was borne of four. And when
they could not come nigh unto her for the press,
they uncovered the roof where she was: and
when they had broken it up, they let down the
bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay. When
Jessica saw their commitment to feminism, she
said unto the sick of the palsy, Daughter, thy
servile obedience to men be forgiven thee.
But there were certain of the men sitting there,
and reasoning in their hearts, Why doth this
woman thus speak blasphemies?
From a Mountain, Jessica Preaches a Sermon (Mt. 5:1-5)
And seeing the multitudes, she went up into a
mountain: and when she was set, her
disciples came unto her. And she opened
her mouth, and taught them, saying, Blessed
are the poor in spirit; for their’s is the Womb
Realm. Blessed are they that
mourn: for they shall be comforted. Blessed
are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Some Sayings of Jessica (Mt. 5:10-12; 16)
Blessed are they which are persecuted for women’s
rights sake: for their’s is the Womb Realm.
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and
persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil
against you falsely, from my sake.
Rejoice and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in the
Womb Realm: for so persecuted they the
prophetesses which were before you.
Let your light so shine before women, that they may
see your good works, and glorify your Mother
which is in heaven.